Redefining Success

The planet does not need more successful people. The planet desperately needs more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers and lovers of all kinds. - David W. Orr

As we evolve, so does our idea of what success is. During my corporate career, I was always busy, often working a full day and then being on call for media or at community relations events after hours. It gave me a sense of belonging and made me feel needed. I gave too much of my personal time, often resulting in me getting sick and then taking forever to recover since I wouldn’t slow down long enough to truly get well. I was always looking for external validation: a promotion, an award, an attagirl.

I look back on those days with empathy for myself and the crazy American work-ethic that made it seem not only normal, but somehow aspirational. I am all for hard work but at some point, you hit a wall and aren’t as effective. I embodied the work-hard play-hard mantra the first 14 years of my career. It usually takes a big life transition for someone to get off the treadmill and see the light. For me, it was the birth of my daughter. In retrospect, I worked more than I should have while pregnant, especially being of the “advanced maternal age” of 39. I went on maternity leave scared of what I would come back to at my job and worrying that I would feel irrelevant upon my return.

The minute my daughter was born, everything changed. I looked at her sweet little face and thought, how can I go back to that life when all I want to do is know this beautiful little soul? It was really hard to go back after my maternity leave, way harder than I ever expected. I still loved my job but it no longer came first. I lost myself for a while, trying to figure out who I was in this new reality. I had to accept that I couldn’t be 100% at everything every day. I always felt guilty about something - not enough time at home or at work. It was lonely and hard but I never regretted a single minute of it every time I held her.

Success to me now is freedom. Freedom to do purposeful work that I love. Freedom to have time with those who mean most to me. And time for reflection to be grounded, rested and healthy. That’s my definition of success now and I’m so grateful to be living it and to be every bit as prosperous but with time to walk my daughter to school. What you desire is already yours. You just have to claim it.